The power of appreciation and positive feedback

Yesterday the head of our team popped up to my desk at work and told me "Ventsi, I've received a very good feedback for your work from the customer and from the other team members" , I told him "I've been only here for a month and I've hardly collaborated with anyone from the customer", "Yes, but they sit next to you and they can hear and see how you work and they said that you know what you are talking about", "Well , thank you for sharing the good feedback , it's always good to know when you are on the right track" . Indeed , it is good.

Being from Easter Europe I'm not very accustomed to positive feedback. The communism didn't require positive feedback and appreciation to function - you had a job which you must do and that's it, you are expect to do it the best you can. However if you mess up something,  you'll be amazed how quickly the negative feedback will follow.

After I went home we had a discussion with my flatmate, who has more experience working with people from the Middle East - he has confirmed the same experience. Positive feedback and appreciation is not used in daily interaction. So it's not only in Bulgaria and most probably it has nothing to do with the communism :). (ref: Bulgaria is not under communist regime since 1989)

I've always been a supporter of the carrot method when it comes to motivating people (from "the carrot and the stick" motivation theory).When working in Bulgaria, for two years I worked directly with the owner of the company - she is extraordinary woman and she is very good with people. However when it comes to encouragement and positive feedback, she wasn't a big fan of the idea to motivate the employees through positive feedback. She believed in financial incentives. It is true that financial incentives often will have effect, but after a while they lose practicality or they may stop working at all. While working there I could see managers struggling to tell their subordinates that they did a good job, it just felt so unnatural to them. And it was -  giving feedback is a skill just like any other skills (writing, singing, running) it requires time and effort to develop it. And since we are not very good at giving positive feedback in our day-to-day interactions, it's even harder to do it at work.

To be hones, I like how people in Western Europe and North America give appreciation when it's due. And what's not to like, it's a win win scenario:

1.  You are not giving something away when you are giving positive appraisal. 
2.  You are not lowering your value but meanwhile you are raising the other persons value. 
3.  You are not worsening your mood but meanwhile you are making the receiver feel better. 

Giving positive feedback will not only benefit the received but will benefit you who give it. First you'll feel better and second it's a step in developing this skill.
Do you remember how often Bulgarians living abroad or yourself returning from a trip back to Bulgaria will be complaining how unfriendly services in Bulgaria are? How the lady at the passport control gave them frown face. How the neighbors living in the same building will not greet them or will have frown faces all the time. My theory is that we don't show enough appreciation and we don't give enough credit to the people doing their job because we adopt the common mindset which is "people are paid for what they are doing and I don't own them anything".

It's a generation and cultural mindset which I believe will slowly change with more and more international companies opening offices in Bulgaria, more people travelling and working abroad and with more personal development books and speakers (Stephen Covey, Tony Robbins) .

The truth is that if you don't feel good about yourself it's very hard to treat the others nicely and show appreciation for what they do. There are even people who think that they are showing weakness when they are being nice to people. Unfortunately in Bulgaria it's commonly accepted that to be rude is showcase of dominance and power - I call this the mutra (figurehead) syndrome :). Here is a something to think about - it's much easier to be rude and treat people bad, than to be kind and treat the others like you want to be treated. If you don't believe me try to compliment someone for their look when you are having a bad day.

If you like the idea of appreciating and giving positive feedback, below are few points which will help you in developing this skill and get all the benefits:

• give appraisal or say "Thank you" when it's due . Don't delay your appraisal, tell someone they did well straight after their act.
• tell people what they did well and what you liked in their performance/work. Example: "You did a great job responding to that provocative email by the supplier" or "Thank you very much for giving me an extra bag for the groceries"
• be honest and mean what you say. If you don't mean what you say, people will spot it and it won't have the same effect.