Can we choose to love ?

We were taught that love would be an effortless endeavor. That it is passive in nature and it happens by chance; not something we choose but something we stumble upon one day, and to a flawless, “happily ever after” end.
Growing up and growing old you begin to realize that it's not quite the effortless endeavor you have been thought it is.

Well, it's not. Here is what I've came across  - if you give something enough thinking, time and energy the value of that object or person will be greater (for you). For example if you construct a kitchen table, all on your own and you put your creativity, time and energy into the process. It's very likely that you are going to value and like this table much more than other comparable tables. Can you think of someone already utilizing this strategy? Yes, that's correct - IKEA are already utilizing this little trick, by making you assemble the furniture you bought from them. That way, you put time and effort into it and later you like that piece of furniture even more than you did when you saw it in the showroom. 

Another example of this theory is the relationship of The Little Prince and his rose. His flower doesn't differ by anything from any other rose, however it's much more special to him than any other flower on the planet. From Le Petit Prince - dialogue between The Little Prince and the fox . "You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

This only struck me few years ago - love doesn't happen to you unexpectedly, it's not a matter of chance. It's you, who choose to fall in love. It is a result of your thoughts, actions and choices you make.

Knowing that falling in and out love is something in your circle of influence will help change the way you think about love. And from being frustrated, sad and unsatisfied you can choose to become motivated, determined and empowered.

It can be incredibly liberating to realize that, in choosing how to respond to circumstances, we affect those circumstances.